It has been a while since we have had anything to report on national mid-tier law firm Gadens, so we warmly welcomed the following info from an anonymous Gadens spy over the weekend:

Firm Spy,

You wrote last week about what different firms are doing to cut discretionary spend, so I thought your readership might be interested to learn what Gadens did earlier this year. The firm made enquiries of the various state law societies to ascertain whether law institute memberships were optional. Upon being notified that there is no obligation on the firm to join the relevant law societies, Gadens abruptly told us that they would no longer be paying for our memberships and, if we wanted to remain members, we would need to do so at personal expense… Given that my guaranteed pay is so low compared with similar firms, I thought this cut-back was one step too far…

Is your firm cutting costs? Let the Firm Spy know first by emailing us at news@firmspy.com.

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Ever since Seinfeld’s Newman brought the spotlight on obesity in the postal service, the humble postie has been recast as fat and incompetent, rather than the robust figures who once appealled to the philandering urges of housewives.

But if posties thought that dealing with the occasional snickering pedestrian was difficult enough, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

Australia Post plans to pull overweight posties off the road as their bulk slows mail delivery. Posties weighing more than 100kg will have to see a dietitian or be redeployed, if they can’t shed weight, a draft policy released by Australia Post states. Their union has warned that posties will walk off the job, if forced to prove their weight. Posties will have to sign a statutory declaration every 12 months, stating that they weigh under 100kg.

And if posties thought they could turn to discrimination lawyers for help, they had better think again:

Gadens Lawyers discrimination law partner John-Anthony Hodgens said it would be an “adventurous” lawyer who tried to argue that the company was out of line. Under anti-discrimination law, “weight” is not a protected characteristic, as sex, race or age are. “If an employee was dismissed, you might have an argument for unfair dismissal, depending on the circumstances,” Mr Hodgens said.

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The Firm Spy recently uncovered anomalies in PR-spin emanating out of national law firm Gadens. In response to that post, we received the following information from an anonymous Gadens source:

It would be outrageous for Gadens to freeze our pay, given that so much of our income is tied up in performance bonuses. I cant speak for others, but my wage is significantly lower than what friends at comparable firms are paid, and only once I achieve my performance target over several months is parity restored. It goes without saying that when the GFC arrived, reaching my target became virtually unachievable… This is almost a kind of pay freeze in itself.

It is unclear whether this source is a junior or senior solicitor, but it is quite apparent that, if true, this method of market-tied remuneration is less immune from the GFC than most.  A kind of micro-partnership slice, if you will.  Should solicitors bear this risk allocation?  We invite further comments from other Gadens staffers.

Disquiet is rumoured to have descended over Gadens’ PR and senior management in recent days over the way the firm, through its departing Chief Operations Officer, has responded to claims that secret-sackings had occurred.

At first instance, the firm line was that there had been some ‘comings and goings’, but this later matured to a more encouraging line that the firm was ‘hiring, not firing’.

The more recent comments were made by Chief Operating Officer Jon Denovan who, in the same article, was also at pains to identify that:

• he is leaving Gadens; and
• he wants a job in radio.

A Gadens spy had the following points to make about Denovan’s article:

…his comments will make the inevitable pay freeze look like a ridiculous ploy to increase partner yields, when I think the reality is that our work flows and revenue has decreased along with all the other major law firms.

Do you think it is appropriate for high-profile lawyers to use the media to spell out their imminent availability to future employers?

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Michael Bradley, the shoe-loving head of Marque Lawyers who once allegedly suggested that aspirant seasonal clerks should  imagine him in his underwear, is at it again.  Bradley appears to be seeking a talented young law graduate for Marque Lawyers.  However:

candidates must be desperate to take on all … tasks delegated to them by …  Joe the IT guy who comes in when we break a computer.

In an effort to defray potential criticisms from graduates that Marque Lawyers should be offering juniors real legal work rather than delegated shit-kicking, the advertisement states matter-of-factly that:

in this market, any job is a good job.

Do you believe that this is a ‘good job’?

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In a calculated effort to camouflage firm redundancies, Gadens partner Jon Donovan has termed the sacking of six staff

as a ‘hiring freeze’.

Jobs gone. Insensitivites abound.

In what might be considered as a further act of insensitivity to the jobless six, partner Donovan was quoted, remarking on Gadens’ priorities in the face of the world economic climate, as saying:

‘we have no plans to switch to stale bread and water for Friday night drinks.’

This remark presumably comes as little solace to newly jobless six who might now be wondering where their next meal will come from. Office gaiety cannot be high at Gadens.

Do you agree?  Share your views/criticisms.