A few weeks ago we profiled Brisbane mid-tier firm Hynes Lawyers and its notable “no dickheads” recruitment policy. The firm states on its website:
The quality of our people defines the quality of our firm which is why we recruit and retain the best staff and [it is] the reason behind our ‘no dickheads’ policy.
With a publicised non-dickhead policy, one would expect to be able to make the safe assumption that no dickheads lurk within the Hynes Lawyers corridors. But according to an anonymous Hynes Lawyers spy, this is not the case:
You need to see this. This is by Rob Hynes, the same lawyer who has the ‘no dickheads’ policy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yXf5chxN0g Impersonating other solicitors, awarding staff members for almost missing the birth of their child because they were still working at 3am… who’s the ‘dickhead’ now?
Yes, let’s get to the bottom of this!
The video commences with a Hynes lawyer checking out the venue for the firm’s Christmas party where he bumps into founder of Hynes Lawyers, famous non-dickhead Robert Hynes:
“Look who it is – Hynesy!”
“Oh sh*t, G-Bag, what are you doing here? Oh, mate, oh I told you I was in a meeting … I just wanted to get in early and make the most of the bar tab… It has been a bloody tough year for all of us.
And with that introduction, the video then meanders into a decidedly dickheaded parody of top-tier legal culture. Mr Hynes bumps into his old boss – the Managing Partner of his old firm Mallesons – a Mr “Clayton Corrs”. After engaging in the obligatory catch-up dialogue, “Hynesy” tells Clayton Corrs he is in a rush because he needs to prepare for a presentation, to which Mr Corrs responds:
“if it is a presentation, I am your man… I know a good lawyer when I see one. They are like me: successful; good-looking, intellectual, and they share the same passion, the passion for the work they do, the passion for the quest for justice, and the passion for fast cars.”
However, all of this is supremely ironic, and dickheaded, because the spoof is a lead-in for the nominations for the firm’s annual “Taking One For The Team Award 2010″. Those nominations reveal that, just like the top-tier lawyers who are the focus of the satire, Hynes Lawyers is seeking to reward the same top-tier culture of senseless sacrifice where dickheads prevail.
The nominations proceed:
Warwick Walsh – in fact the award should probably go to Warwick’s wife Sasha for not killing Warwick as he worked right up to the birth of his little daughter Kayla.
“Yeah, Warwick was still working at 3:50am on the day his little daughter was born Kayla. In fact, it was only two hours before she was born. That’s commitment for you.”
Frank Higginson – Frank has been nominated for the way he’s so professionaly and poetically communicated the official message to the Gold Coast office that it was being wound down and essentially rolled into the Brisbane office.
“Yeah, we’re still scratching our head trying to work out how he was able to get the message across without his customary F-bombs. But anyway, he did a great job. Well done Frankie.”
Kylie Corazzol – Kylie has had to balance a very difficut health issue with her enormous workload. She has thrown her heart and soul into everything she has done for the team.
“Yeah, Kylie has been a real workhorse, getting behind ever section of the firm and all individual staff. More recently helping Julie with the Aged Care Report and leaving work functions early to help with IT roll-over which turned into an all-nighter. And she’s helping with the merging of the two offices and cleaning up the wave of different matters from Rob as we plough through various that need to be done for getting our presence established in the building. Well done Kylie. You’re an absolute soldier.”
Kylie Tate – Kylie took a massive one for the team when she busted two ribs in a nasty pub brawl at the Brunswick Hotel.
“Yeah, but she still rocked up after breaking those two ribs. She came into work and didn’t complain. Gutsy effort Kylie.”
Forget about the workers themselves, hats off to the knob Hynes Lawyers partners able to convince junior workers to sacrifice their health, well being and important family events like witnessing the birth of children, with the lure of a Taking One For Th Team Award.
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Looks like Hynes has removed the video from youtube – funny considering all Rob Hynes ever wanted was for it to be considered a ‘top tier’ firm. So close…
Yes, video has gone.
Is it located elsewhere?
No dickheads, indeed. Ha!
Panning the ‘all-work no-play’ lifestyle that many firms seem to promote is one thing, but isn’t this a bit far? I think there’s a fairly significant difference between insisting that employees put their all into a firm, at the expense of their own lives and simply acknowledging those that already had. I’m sure Warwick Walsh appreciated the sentiment, if he worked until 4am of his own accord.
So Bad?, What? People don’t risk their health, wellbeing, relationships for fun; or in absense of a firm culture that actively demands it. Its not a wilful thing. And when a firm loudly promotes its no ‘dickhead’ policy, then proudly displays its one of the biggest knobheads around, it must be outed.
If there was no culture of dickheadedry; why couldn’t the firm pluck the 4 horrid examples for their short list. Try your spinning elsewhere.
There’s a difference between firm culture demanding long hours and a client demanding something overnight. If I want to do the right thing for my client, I’ll put the hours in and I wouldn’t want any “firm culture” stopping me from doing so. It happens.
The problem is when the firm culture doesn’t provide any tangible support or recognition, or takes it for granted. I’ve escaped that environment and leave at 5.00pm most days – but when a genuine need is there, I’ll work all night if I have to do so to help my clients.
I also wouldn’t say I can’t work over the weekend for them because I have to play cricket (well, I don’t play cricket anyway, but I understand this is a popular example).
I don’t have any knowledge of Hynes, so I don’t know how they sit with all this. Wish I hadn’t missed the video!