The stomping ground of such muscial giants as Cold Chisel, Hilltop Hoods, Masters Apprentices and, err… I Killed the Prom Queen, Adelaide now officially boasts another feather in its cultural cap: a law student celebration orgy.
Calling to mind the famous Uni of WA LSS “vomit bag” incident , we recently received a link to the following edited leaked email from a member of the University of Adelaide Law Student Society:
From: REDACTED
Sent: Tuesday, 1 June 2010 8:52am
To: Graduate March 2010 Mel
Subject: Some amusement (or nostalgia) for your Tuesday morningLast Saturday night was the Adelaide Uni Law Ball. Yesterday, the Adelaide Uni LSS received a letter of complaint from the venue outlining the following:
I have listed all of the issues relating to Saturday night’s Law Ball below:
- Numerous guests were vomiting in the banquet room, in the toilets, in gallery 2, on the dance floor and outside the terrace;
- Patrons were sitting on bars, jumping on the bars and walking behind the bars to try to serve themselves alcohol;
- Guests were breaking glasses on the stage, dance floor and in the banquet room intentionally;
- Bags were found with drugs and bottles of spirits at the end of the night;
- A group of four people were caught having sex in the Lyrics Room;
- A Lyrics Room window was smashed from the inside. This window needs to be replaced;
- Adelaide Festival Centre signs on the terrace were kicked an vandalised. One of the signs is severely damaged and needs to be replaced.
REDACTED
REDACTED
REDACTED
We naturally wanted to get some idea the LSS’ sex position over these allegations, so we sent the following edited email to the President of the University of Adelaide LSS, Ms Hannah Canham:
On 14 November 2010 10:11, <news@firmspy.com> wrote:
Hi Hannah,
We’ve been sent an email which we are hoping u might offer a comment on. It essentially lists a whole range of grievances by the proprietor of the venue where the LSS held its law ball this year. Among the frankly hilarious list of mishaps and misbehaviours is the claim that four students were busted having an orgy.
Do you have any knowledge of this incident? Have u read the email in question? Does the Adelaide Uni LSS have an orgy problem?
Thanks,
Firm Spy
Days, which seemed like months, passed. Nothing. Not a word from Ms Canham. So we sent the following, more broadly-targeted edited email yesterday to other members of the LSS. The email included a forwarded copy of the email above.
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Fwd: Law Ball Shenanigans
Date: Thur, 18 Nov 2010 23:43:26 -0500
From: <news@firmspy.com>
To: <david>, <chong>, <henrietta>, <megan>, <hannah>Hi Guys,
As you’ll see below, we have tried to get a comment from your President on an orgy-related issue. Do you have any idea where she is? Does it involve three other people, perhaps?
This is important because we’re intending to run a story tomorrow on it. We are asking that the Adelaide Uni LSS urgently comment as per below.
Regards,
Firm Spy
This latter email yielded the following presidential response:
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Re: Law Ball Shenanigans
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:07:30 +1030
From: Hannah Canham <hannah>
To: news@firmspy.comHi Firm Spy,
I am in the middle of my end of year assessments at the moment but I would be happy to discuss this rumour with you over the phone, preferably early next week.
Kind regards,
———-
Hannah Canham
President
Adelaide University Law Students’ Society
No promises, but she may squeeze in a phone call next week. Such are the insufferable pressures of the presidency! Until then, a nation of corporate gossipers waits. Except … a fellow member of the LSS made the following observations (on condition of anonymity).
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Re: Law Ball Shenanigans
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:07:30 +1030
From: REDACTED <REDACTED@student.adelaide.edu.au>
To: news@firmspy.comFirm Spy,
Are you that old that you’ve forgotten the precocity, the frivolity of your LSS youth? The orgy of which you speak and the indiscretions you list are nothing more than a snapshot, a microcosm, of an ordinary Law Student Ball in any city, on any night. On this occasion, that city and that ball happened to be Adelaide and the Adelaide Uni Law Ball. But the drugs, violence, rock n roll and the orgy could have been anywhere. You, of all industry figures, must appreciate the non-newsworthiness of a drug-infused LSS orgy.
Or are you a book-worm nerd who never lived?
Cop that, Firm Spy!
We will provide the presidential update… once Ms Canham grants us an audience. Until then, have a swinging Friday and…
Send the Firm Spy your news and views!
UPDATE:
We received the following email late Friday:
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Rumours
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2010 18:52:24 +1030
From: “Law Students’ Society” <lss@adelaide.edu.au>
To: news@firmspy.comHello again FirmSpy,
Given that this story is some six months old, I didn’t quite anticipate the anxiety a few days’ delay in my comment would cause. Please accept my follow-up email now as some form of recompense. Yes, it’s true that the email you posted this morning was circulating inboxes around six months ago. And if the LSS had any reason to believe the events described in it had occurred, we would of course take that very seriously. However, since none of us present on the night witnessed anything remotely resembling the final scene of Patrick Suskind’s Perfume, or the streets of Berlin on Kristallnacht, and since we have nothing else to substantiate these rumours, they remain simply that. Sorry to disappoint!
Kind regards,
Hannah———-
President
Adelaide Law Students’ Society
(e) president@aulss.org.au
Being the cultural nincompoops that we are, we had no idea what happened in the final scene of Patrick Suskind’s Perfume, so we googled it. According to Wikipedia:
The story focuses on a perfume apprentice in 18th century France who, born with no body scent himself, begins to stalk and murder virgins in search of the “perfect scent”, which he finds in a young woman named Laure whom his acute sense of smell finds in a secluded private garden in Grasse.
Some thoroughly depraved exam-time reading for the president there. Meanwhile, Kristallnacht (we knew this one) is the “Night of Broken Glass”, which according to Wikipedia:
wasa series of attacks against Jews throughout Nazi Germany and parts of Austria on November 9–10, 1938. Jewish homes were ransacked, as were shops, towns and villages, as SA stormtroopers and civilians destroyed buildings with sledgehammers, leaving the streets covered in pieces of smashed windows—the origin of the name “Night of Broken Glass.” Ninety-one Jews were killed, and 30,000 Jewish men—a quarter of all Jewish men in Germany—were taken to concentration camps, where they were tortured for months, with over 1,000 of them dying.
Many thanks to the prez for getting back to us with such happiness for this miserable Monday.
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Whilst I’m somewhat disappointed that the AU Law balls I attended did not descend into orgies, I’m glad to have escaped the insular AU LSS. Their arrogance and wit clearly have not improved over the years.
I’m clearly attending the wrong law school.
Thin, I think its common knowledge for all law students to avoid any law students society like the plague. They are arrogant self serving idiots that are all too prepared to subject other students to cronyism/nepotism. The above email demonstrates that pretty clearly.
USyd law ball of 1999 involved 12 people getting caught together in a side room doing the nasty. its happened before and will happen again. pretty common
I, too, must be attending the wrong law school. Although whoever wrote that reply is a bit of a conceited ass.
I agree with all comments above about the LSS-types. Fairly representative of the smug gits who ran the show at my uni when I was there – and the types I now interview for clerkships, who seem to think that experience in a nepotistic poorly-run “organization” somehow prepares them better than the rest of their peers for a life as a corporate lawyer (note to jobseekers, it doesn’t, the only similarity is that both sets drink too much coffee).
Personally, I couldn’t think of anything worse than parading around with a Jehovah complex, helping the most privileged section of society (and most specifically, themselves and their mates) further their own aims of self-aggrandisement, but I can’t speak for everyone.
hahaha what a complete B***h! can’t wait for her to enter into private practice and see where that smarmy, arrogant and self serving attitude gets her!
From experience being smarmy, arrogant and self serving = success in big law. That’s basically most of the partners at my last firm!
just so you were aware, the scene referred to in perfume is where the lead character unleashes his product and a simple drop into the atmosphere makes people shed their clothes and have sex with each other. Some thousands of people.
Citing Wikipedia as a source FS!? Really!?
FirmSpy getting hot and horny over a bunch of kids getting it on…
Does anyone else find this a bit disturbing.
Funny story. Seems it carries on into the working life of lawyers. It wasn’t uncommon for liaisons to occur in Mallies meeting rooms, particularly after Friday night drinks…
That email was floating around last year. Don’t know if it’s true or not but it’s not recent.
@ nasty cyril – get a root!
@ Nice Cyril – I did, it was your mother.
[hold on, if we have the same surname does that make it MY mother?]