Presided over by three pompous, morbidly obese “judges”, Channel 10′s Masterchef is awash with lawyers in season 2010. Among the contestants who have featured on the show are lawyers Claire Winton-Burn – who has since been thrown off the show – as well as current contestants Peter Kritikides and Adam Liaw.
We took it upon ourselves to do a bit of digging to see what we could find out about these “masterchefs”.
Peter Kritikides is a lawyer at Lander & Rogers. On February 13 2009 “Krita [had] ‘L + R’ waxed into his hairy chest … his boss [waxed] him in front of the whole firm”. Yes. Seriously.
For photos of this firm-sanctioned “L + R” chest-waxing, click here.
Later, in response to a question on how he got into cooking, Krita recounts distressing stories of his childhood:
I was a stereotypical Greek-Australian boy who was … overfed by my Mum … I spent a lot of time in the kitchen … because I knew a feed was not far away… my love of food really took off.
Clear evidence that this love of food persists to this day is available here.
But the really distressing stuff, which might even make you question a meal prepared by this masternutter masterchef, is the arguably homicidal, homophobic authorship we uncovered from ex-Kelly & Co lawyer, Masterchef contestant Adam Liaw.
Here are a few unedited comments we have extracted from Liaw’s Twitter page:
Don’t you ever sit down at your computer when there are all these windows popping at you and emails shouting at you and just think…… I could just burn all this shit to the ground.
The Weekend: Too much booze and too much blood.
Watching football on the couch with some grilled salmon, a salad and a Fujizakura microbrew. Blissful, but somehow I feel like a homo.
I believe it is a God-given right for a Prime Minister to host a secret sex party with a bunch of hookers and other Prime Ministers.
Come with me if you want to live.
Despite all this doom and homicidal, sex-party gloom, it does appear that Liaw has a heart. After all, he wanted to give the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, a send off! Unfortunately, however, he received the following notification (also published on his Twitter page)
Sorry, we regret to inform you that your registration to attend the Public Memorial Service for Michael Jackson was not selected.
But Liaw did not allow this bad news to affect his psychological balance at the time…
Naming my furniture. My fridge’s name is Steve.
Do you name your furniture? Have you waxed the initials of your firm into your chest? Do you believe K-Rudd has a God-given right to host a secret sex party with Gordon Brown and Phoney Tony Abbott?
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What are you talking about; Claire hasn’t been eliminated.