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The Deloitte Vow of Poverty; Giam Sweigers’ Daily “Prayer Time” Phone Calls
Posted by The Spy | Posted in Deloitte, Firm Gossip, Spy HQ | Posted on 1.29am
A few weeks ago, you’ll recall the sermon we delivered in respect of Deloitte Chief Giam Sweigers’ “favourite management mottos”. We read Giam’s commandments mottos, immediately took the Lord’s name in vain, and thereafter made a religious vow to do whatever we could to spread stop His messages.
For those who’ve forgotten, in a staggering BRW article, Giam variously exclaimed:
“Try new things, but fail fast and fail cheaply.”
“Soft on people, tough on performance.”
“Leadership is not about taking people where they want to go, it’s about taking people where they should go. It’s not a popularity contest.”
In our minds this immediately evoked the image of a Papal assembly, huddled beneath a Vatican window, devouring to the words of a religious leader.
But have the Deloitte masses been listening? Apparently, yes!
We received the following comments from an anonymous Deloitte spy a couple of weeks ago:
Firm Spy,
Here at Deloitte, our leader Giam Swiegers constantly bothers us with his whimsical, stream-of-consciousness “messages”. When I say “messages”, I mean that every day, almost without fail, we receive a voicemail (an innovative communication tool from Deloitte management that, for some reason, they believe is more powerful than conventional email) from Giam giving us spiritual guidance and his thoughts for the day. Among the various nuisances he delivers to us on a day-to-day basis, are the homages he pays to arcane religious holidays like “happy-Martyrdom-of-Guru-Tegh-Bahadur-Ji-day”. I wish I was joking.
“Prayer time”, as a few of us call it, has been done to death. But the final straw came earlier this year when Giam failed to recognise ANZAC Day. Yes, despite recounting every single religious holiday - including all those observed by the people who entered “Jedi” [as their chosen religion] in the national census - Giam forgot to mention the one that really matters.
Holy moly - Giam forgot ANZAC Day!
But the blasphemous employee reproach does not stop there. We received the following biblically proportioned spray from another Deloitte spy a few days ago:
As part of its much awaited remuneration process, Deloitte has once again delivered very little on its promises. After the convoluted messages of the past and subsequent pay freezes, much is expected… and as is usually the case there is very little. High volumes of staff received nil payrises with the average being less than 5% in a period where partner distributable profit has increased by 22% and 11% revenue growth. Just to reinforce that staff are just that… staff. An email was sent by Giam advising that we are the 14th best place to work in Australia. Clearly the vote was taken well before news of the payrise hit but rather was done at a time when there was strong rhetoric that we would be rewarded for what have been some hard years. Thanks Giam.
Yes, a well-timed psalm that one! These comments were given a blessing by the following words, sent by yet another Deloitte preacher:
hi guys, Apparently the Deloitte payletters just came out very recently for the Audit and Assurance staff… the word is senior analysts were very very disappointed…
By “disappointed”, do you think our Deloitte spy means that workers have lost their faith? Or is it time that they accepted a vow of poverty?
Send the Firm Spy your news and views!
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For the record, this is not true and your source is unreliable. Voicemails are distributed by Giam regarding exciting new client engagements, major firm news, policy changes and what have you. Giam does not impart “words of wisdom” or religious messages. He regularly acknowledges cultural holidays or significant days with an email in the interests of cultural diversity etc. His voicemail messages average one per week at most.
The pay rises given to Deloitte Private staff were rubbish - on average less than 4% for 2 years (not even in line with inflation). We were given the usual blah blah about the market and performance - but why should we suffer because the partners can’t work together. They talk about ‘as one’ but they really mean each partner looks after number one. So much for talk straight!
Oh Fortherecord, or should I say Nessa, what a load of gumpf. You and I well know Giam is happy to spam us all with his inane drivel and forwarded on voicemails from snivelling toadies sucking up to the big man.
If we get ‘only’ 3 a week we’re lucky.
As for the pay ‘rises’ they were very hit and miss. Some got them, many didn’t. Many of us held firm in the bad times figuring the Partners would come good on their promises as our revenue increases.
Many of us have been sorely let down.
I’m walking, many of my colleagues are too. We’ll be replaced by junior, cheaper, staff and the charge out rates will go up.
I’m predicting corporate Australia might clue on to the fact they are getting less for more at some point soon. I hope so.
Best place to work survey? I’m surprised it even rated.
I wasted a few good years in my early days working for these monkeys… In saying that I apologise to all the moneys out there!
Definitely more than one voicemail a week from Giam when I worked there…. more like 2-3 per week. Excessive voicemails aside, I enjoyed my time at Deloitte. I think it really depends on which service line you work in.
Clearly only underperformers providing slanted data. In my team we heard of many double digit % increases and a whole lot of promotions. Stop badmouthing and start performing.