But not so at Bransgroves Lawyers, where head-honcho Matthew Bransgrove shows his common touch by eating a sandwich each day, albeit one which is allegedly brought to him on tightly regulated timetable. Yes, you’ll recall an anonymous Bransgrovian recently told us:
He requires the paralegals to bring him lunch and give him half of his sandwich at 11am and half at 3pm…
Picture a nurse, in a cute little outfit, delivering half a sanga to Mr Bransgrove twice-daily as he stares tenaciously at a computer screen. But what has the doctor ordered? According to another Bransgrovian, the following email was recently sent around the firm:
Can the paralegal on duty please buy Matthew and Lesa lunch.
Please buy it at 11am each day.
LESA
Rye bread
MATTHEW
Rye bread roll
FILLING FOR BOTH
butter
turkey
lettuce
carrot
tomato
cucumberPlease put half of Matthew’s on a plate (give to him immediately on your return) and half in the fridge wrapped in the bag. Give Matthew the second half at 3.00pm.
Please put the whole of Lesa’s int he [sic] fridge.
Use cash from Matthew’s money jar. Ask MJB if there is not enough.
Please buy from the Sandwich bar in the MLC centre under the escalator as you walk in.
Thank you
Which gets us to today’s stunning revelation that, finally, a position exists which harnesses the skill of crafting an excellent sanga with the provision of legal services. According to CareerOne:
Sandwich Hand/Barrister
Job Reference Code: 10852529
About the Job: Busy Cafe in St Peters requires sandwich hand/barrister to work full time. Applicants must have experience and have good English. Please call after 3PM.
It is a full-time role and all enquiries can be made to 0424 156 884.
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I take it the real Firm Spy has the day off today?
FS has noted it in the past but it is still interesting as to the ratio of men to women at the firm…
LOL, That’s a great one…barista vs barrister!
Can someone please hang out at “the Sandwich bar in the MLC centre under the escalator as you walk in” from about 10:55am and report back on whether said items are purchased by a masked dwarf gimp (as I expect)?
I love the irony of the job advertisement:
“Busy Cafe in St Peters requires sandwich hand/?barrister to work full time.? Applicants must have experience and have good English.? Please call after 3PM.? ”
Good English required indeed.
Perhaps Clever Greene should apply?
*Ahem* now where were we with those salary survey results…?
Nice one FS!