In an almost criminal act of self-confidence, Queensland’s Crown Prosecutor, Kris Ashen, has nominated himself for the CLEO Bachelor of the Year competition. Appearing shirtless in his profile shot, Kris evokes in readers a curiosity as to whether his surname is legitimate, or merely an alias drawing from his complexion.

Some investigative journalism from the Firm Spy confirmed that the surname is legitimate. Of course, Ashen’s prosecutorial ability is nevertheless open to question, given that his most notable Crown prosecution was the recent indictment of a man who got involved in a Zoolander-esque nightclub dance-off which turned ugly. In that case, Ashen helpfully informed the court:

‘A dance battle is where people take turns to show off their moves.’

In his CLEO Bachelor of the Year application, Ashen answered the following:

Q - Biggest Turn-On?

A - A sensual, slow, passionate kiss

Interestingly, CLEO invites readers to make comments at the bottom of each profile, presumably to enable the voting public to offer encouragement to the applicant.

No such luck for Kris Ashen.

In comments appearing at the bottom of Ashen’s profile, ‘Jennifer” made the following pejorative offering:

‘under [the question] ‘how I’m feeling’, shouldn’t you have said ‘myself’?

Do you think this ‘bachelor’ should be prosecuted for being a wanker? Send us your thoughts and comments!

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