One of our favourite posts from 2010 was our profile of Hynes Lawyers’ “No Dickheads Recruitment Policy”. Quite hilariously, the opening sentence of the Hynes Lawyers Careers page until recently read:
The quality of our people defines the quality of our firm which is why we recruit and retain the best staff and [it is] the reason behind our ‘no dickheads’ policy.
But it looks like Hynsey looked in the mirror the state of the jobs market is such that Hynes Lawyers may finally have had to open their arms to Dickheads after all. The firm’s Careers webpage now reads:
The quality of our people defines the quality of our firm which is why we recruit and retain the best staff. We help our clients with the best possible advice and down-to-earth service. [ED Thankfully the original text is still freely available on Google, just search for "http://www.hyneslawyers.com.au/why-hynes-lawyers-.html".]
The Dickheaded Parody
We’re not sure of the exact time when Hynes Lawyers starting embracing the less fortunate Dickheads among us, but very soon after we reported on its unique recruitment policy, we also discovered that there were (in our opinion) already a few Dickheads in the building. Yes in December last year, you’ll recall, we took out the magnifying glass to scrutinise a short film that the firm had commissioned to broadcast at its 2010 Christmas party. The video was removed from YouTube within hours of our post, but not before we published the following synopsis:
The video commences with a Hynes lawyer checking out the venue for the firm’s Christmas party where he bumps into founder of Hynes Lawyers, famous non-dickhead Robert Hynes… The video then meanders into a decidedly dickheaded parody of top-tier legal culture. Mr Hynes bumps into his old boss – the Managing Partner of his old firm Mallesons – a Mr “Clayton Corrs”. After engaging in the obligatory catch-up dialogue, “Hynesy” tells Clayton Corrs he is in a rush because he needs to prepare for a presentation …
However, [it] is supremely ironic, and dickheaded, because the spoof is a lead-in for the nominations for the firm’s annual “Taking One For The Team Award 2010″. Those nominations reveal that, just like the top-tier lawyers who are the focus of the satire, Hynes Lawyers is seeking to reward the same top-tier culture of senseless sacrifice where dickheads prevail.
Knobs Emerge
And with that background of No Dickheads, Dickheads and Dickheaded Parody, let’s move onto the main thrust of today’s Firm Spy feature article: knobs emerging at Hynes Lawyers.
We were sent the following tip-off from an anonymous Hynes Lawyers spy yesteday:
Robert Hynes and fellow ’diki-leaks’ co-conspirator and equity partner Glenn Vassallo have had a mysterious falling out, and Glenn was escorted from the building on Tuesday afternoon. Staff were told that Glenn had left the partnership – which came as a massive shock to all, given that it was Glenn who brought in most of the major clients over the last 6 or 7 years (the Brisbane office had 3 or 4 staff when he joined – 40+ when he left). He was Robert’s rain maker.
Ouch. Sounds ugly. But out of the two gentlemen, which one was being the knob? Of this, we’re not sure, but we received the following compelling tip-off from another anonymous spy:
The City Beat column of today’s [20/7] Courier Mail contains a blurb about Robert Hynes ”expanding” his Hynes Lawyers empire. The article makes reference to Warwick Walsh ”joining” as corporate partner from Corrs. What the blurb fails to point out is that Warwick was an internal promotion from senior associate, which was rushed forward after a massive partnership bust up which occured last Tuesday.
We presume that the Courier Mail blurb also fails to point out that Warwick Walsh is the same Dickhead fellow who very nearly missed the birth of his daughter, choosing instead to work ridiculous hours with Hynsey. But his commitment to the firm didn’t go unnoticed; Wazza received a nomination for the Hynes Lawyers “Taking One For The Team Award 2010″:
Warwick Walsh – in fact the award should probably go to Warwick’s wife Sasha for not killing Warwick as he worked right up to the birth of his little daughter Kayla.
“Yeah, Warwick was still working at 3:50am on the day his little daughter was born Kayla. In fact, it was only two hours before she was born. That’s commitment for you.”
We would point out at this stage that anyone who (1) works right up to 2-hours prior to the birth of their child; or (2) congratulates someone who works right up to 2-hours prior to the birth of their child, might be said to be a “Dickhead”. However, we express no view on whether Hynes Lawyers clients would have an actionable claim against the firm for breaching its recruitment policy (but as always, we invite comments from readers below).
Our anonymous spy continues:
The City Beat column also mentions that the appointment of Walsh comes on the heels of Frank Higginson moving to Brisbane to ’reinforce the troops’. This part fails to mention that Frank’s move came 6 months ago when the Hynes Gold Coast office was closed down. Various press releases at the time boasted that this closure was a positive amalgamation of the offices, and that it was expected that ’virtually all’ senior staff would make the move to Brisbane. At present only 4 of the 35+ ex-Gold Coast office staff remain – with most resigning within 3 months of the announcement last year.
So if our spy is to be believed, Hynes Lawyers have mischaracterised the timing of Frank Higginson’s arrival in the firm’s Brisbane office and potentially misled legal affairs media consumers about the extent of relocations from the firm’s Gold Coast office to Brisvegas. And yet we thought that sort of behaviour was the province of all those Dickheads at top-tier firms … who Hynsey sought to parody in his film.
Office Hob-Knobbing
But this almighty cock-up … gets even worse. The emergent knobs and surface-to-air Dickheadery is nothing compared to the throbbing, pulsating hob-knobbing we’ve discovered in relation to the Hynes Lawyers “office” listings.
Said our anonymous spy:
Hynes have also been known to boast in the press and on their website about their Sydney ’office’. This is and has always been a serviced office which is nothing more than a PO Box and phone number which is diverted to the Brisbane office. If you google the address it leads you to a serviced “virtual office”. Hardly the interstate expansion that one might take from listing the address on their website.
We visited the firm’s address page (Google cached here in case it should mysteriously vanish) and found the following “address”:
Sydney
Level 29, Chifley Tower, 2 Chifley Square
Sydney NSW 2000
Phone: 02 9231 3252
Fax: 02 9231 3272
But when we Googled “Level 29, Chifley Tower, 2 Chifley Square”, we were directed to Serv Corp – Sydney CBD Serviced & Virtual Office Space, Chifley Tower Sydney (Click here). Hob-(k)nobbing with a fake office? Sounds like the sort of ruse we would expect from Mr Clayton Corrs, but not fabled non-dickhead Robert Hynes.
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On the topic of virtual offices and Sydney presence… http://www.resultslegal.com.au
They are a Brisbane firm with what I suspect is a virtual Sydney presence. They’re at least smart enough to get Sydney phone numbers (which would divert to their Brisbane office). What would infuriate me about dealing with them was that their Brisbane fax machine would be routinely turned off so that they could conveniently swear affidavits that said letters of demand or other important correspondence was not received by them despite your contrary evidence of sending the fax…
You forgot to mention that it was none other than Glenn Vasallo who appeared in that 2010 YouTube video alongside Robert Hynes… relevant to their falling-out? Possibly.
I hear hynes lawyers also told mr vassallos staff only 5-10 mins before the rest of the staff, and refuses to give the real reason behind the split, or should I say the forced removal of mr vassallo?
I’m sorry firm spy but why has Warren Jiear escaped a hiding in this article?
It makes you wonder what he did to get ‘marched’?
If Vassallo was such a star and the “rain maker”, I would suspect something major on his part for him to have left or been marched? C’mon FS, what do your insiders / spies say about that?
he was obviously a rainmaker in his own hand
Confused, that is the thing, no one is being told the reason why, the partners are apparently hiding behind an explanation of ‘he was taking a different direction to the rest of the firm’. Full stop that is the only explanation being given.
Of the 25 ‘most recent appointments’ on the Hynes Lawyers website, 23 of them are attributed directly to Glenn Vassallo’s team. The Corporate Team at Hynes Lawyers is the strongest and most profitable team. I wonder how long it will last without him?
Yes he did take a different direction…he went out the door while everyone else hid inside.
if he really was all that FS and some commentaters suggest then wont vasalo take a big chunk of team and clients and set up in opposition?
The law is a dirty dirty game
Looks like the Possum (Aka Vassallo) got Rabies!
You cannot blame vassallo for venting on this website. Doesn’t make it any less infantile though, unfortunately for all concerned
So, small man ego, any odds on which of the posters is actuall vassallo? my bet is LittleMan
It seems to me that the only sure thing about a ‘no dickheads’ policy is that the firm will become a dickhead magnet. Only a dickhead would be attracted by that and a dickhead sure as hell doesn’t think that he or she is a dickhead. Good move to drop that line. Seems it might have been a bit too late.
Nearly took a job with this firm. Looks like I might have dodged a bullet.
Firstly, whoever leaked information about Warwick swooped pretty low to go personal and name his wife and daughter. If you know Warwick, you know he is definitely not a dickhead and is a very genuine person. No one will ever replace Vassallo though and i am disgusted in the way Hynes handled the situation. I must say, even after all the b/s, Hynes definitely has a different culture to most firms. Very family oriented. It is a great place to work for. Salary is pretty much pension which is the only downside! And whoever leaks information obviously is a Hynes employee and should just leave if they are so unhappy!
So if you’re so proud then why don’t you go on the record?
I hear hynes partners send their solicitors emails daily if they don’t make at least 6 billable hours per day, every day. While 6 is lower than some bigger firms, it is alot more than other firms which are similarly sized and do similar work, i.e medium sized CBd fringe firms.
Also mr or mrs proud hynes employee, that exert about warwick Walsh seems to be a transcript of the video that Robert hynes and Glenn vassallo posted on YouTube last year, soooooooooo last time I checked it must have been “leaked” by the hand that pays you!
it’s true, i had only been a lawyer at hynes for a couple of months, one particular day i only made it to 56 units instead of the required 60 and thought ‘i’ll make it up tomorrow’, but no, the very next morning i was called into the partner’s office and asked to explain myself. that partner is no longer at hynes, but the mentality still is.
Hey anon, you aren’t alone – I know someone who works there who was questioned about whether they had enough work on and asked to explain when they made 59 units for the day and were questioned about the $$ they billed for the month despite the fact partners decide what files get billed and how much!
I also knew someone that once went cycling with someone that worked at hynes for a bit. Apparently they were told that the medium sized button on the coffee machine broke, so they could only have large or small. They think that the medium sized button was deliberately sabotaged because hynes only wants their staff to have small coffees (because they don’t take very long to make, which means they will be back to billing sooner) or large coffees (because the size of the caffeine hit will make them work with more intensity). Crazy hey? It makes half the stuff that goes on where I work seem normal when I think about that scandal.
it doesn’t stop there. you know how some toilets have seat warmers in colder places? at hynes they apparently put seat ‘colders’ on their toilets to discourage staff from spending too long in the bathroom reading newspapers rather than being hard at work. my friend told me that when they were cycling with their ex-hynes friend, they noticed through their friend’s semi-transparent bike pants that they had a bit of a mark on their bottom. the story goes that the person developed a case of the trots while at work and had to suffer frostbite! crazy hey? i’m glad i work for a place where i can go to the toilet, check all my facebook status updates and not risk freezing my a** off…
Haha, sure thing. I’ll go on record the moment you go on record too. Its obvious you are an unhappy Hynes employee. Hynes maybe ALOT of things, but i know i would rather be with Hynes than to put up with all the political B/S that goes on in the majority of top tier firms. Just like myself, i know every other post belongs to a Hynes employee! That you tube clip was simply for the pure entertainment of Hynes employees. Shame on the person who leaked it.
There is obviously one unhappy sacked partner out there making all these silly comments. He is just making a fool of himself.
Having worked at a number of firms I would like to say that Hynes is a fantastic place to work and the people are awesome.
I agree with the above two. It might be a case of ‘horses for courses’. Hynes may not be for everyone but i have always found it to be a great place to work.
Hynes lawyers being compared to a top tier! Oh dear. The only partner there who had anything near top tier work was Glenn vassallo and even then his work was probably small mid tier at best!
Hynes is now in the suburbs and half the Brisbane legal market doesn’t even know who they are!! Lol!
“That you tube clip was simply for the pure entertainment of Hynes employees.”
I think that sums up the Hynes culture nicely. Don’t you think?
Say what you want, doesnt matter. Vassallo is gone. Too much whispering going on in corporate, i never really gave a thought towards corprate anyhow.
My partner is still here, and i am still happy!!!
Awwww proud hynes employee, I bet you are a grad or a 1st year who doesn’t know any better. If you have worked in a top tier and consider hynes superior that is good for you, but if you are basing what you say on things you’ve been told by top tier staff, rather than your own experience, then shouldn’t you extend the same courtesy to those who have commented on here based on experiences of hynes they have been told second hand?
I don’t honestly know how anyone could be proud to work at Hynes at the moment.
Putting aside just how absolutely difficult Glenn is to deal with and the dozens of people who left the firm (at least partially) because of him, it cannot be denied that he had admirable biz dev muscle. It may prove to be the case that he was in fact the only thing keeping the firm in touch with the cbd. Suburban law firm doesn’t have that same ring about it. That would make it hard to charge out associates at mid-tier cbd partner rates.
hey anon 7:25, sound like you have the scoop on their rates? are they crazy?
Proud Hynes Employee, aged care is the least profitable arm of Hynes. No wonder your happy you dont make any money in a useless section at hynes. Get a real job Webb!!!
Crazy high especially without cbd overheads and the low salaries they pay.
If you no longer work at Hynes – why do you care about any of this?
If you are currently working at Hynes and posting negative comments – get a new job?
I thought you lawyers were supposed to be smart…
Umm insider trading you must be Glenn because no one other than partners would know the profitability of each section, or the accounts department so you either work at hynes and you’ve attacked a fellow employee who you do or do not know is ‘webb’ or you’re Glenn Vassallo in which case you’re not doin yourself any favors and you should try and be graceful and rise above this….
Unless you want to tell us what REALLY happened!
Ps if Webb reads this and they aren’t ‘proud hynes employee’, I suggest you contact fs to have insider tradings reference to you edited.
Having read through all the comments, some are true but others are exaggerated. Wilfully damaging a button on the coffee machine and using toilet seat chillers (effectively)? Someone’s been watching too many movies.
I agree Hynes are strict on the billable hours and pay the equivalent of centrelink welfare while Rob drives around in his maserati, but the lawyers are mostly good people who are practicing law for mostly the same reasons as all of us.
I challenge everyone to name a law firm that doesn’t have dickheads or a law firm with a 100% happy staff base.
Anonemploy, I’m 99% sure the coffee machine and the toilet seat references are a joke and sarcastic…
@ insider trading, you may not work for Hynes anymore but you have proven yourself to be a dickhead – maybe you should have stayed after all? Why go naming people – that’s just taking things to a new level where they really didn’t need to be taken. And for the record, I think you have that person wrong. I can’t imagine life is all daisies when you’re working for Jules.
What’s worse is that if Webb is who i think insider trading is referring to, then they are a baby lawyer too, really not cool attacking the poor thing if insider trading is who everyone thinks it is.
Btw vassallo was one of the worst perpetrators of the billable hour – once telling staff that because they were ‘so busy’, they should be recording more than the required 6 hours per day and that 6 wasn’t good enough. Or something like that.
if you are really busy 6hours shouldnt be an issue, so keep on billing because there will always be days when 6 hours can be reached and now is the time to bank time and get in front, instead of trying to play catch up…which really shouldnt be an issue unless those people who are ‘sooooooo busy’ really arent
I worked in the GC office. Despite the pseudo intellectual sledge fest going on at the start there, I respect and like all the partners I worked under through several years, understood the reason to amalgamate the offices and given the opportunity, would happily work for any past or present partner at Hynes should they venture back onto the GC. I wouldn’t blindly give that loyalty to a pack of dickheads that didn’t care about their employees.
“Relieved
Posted July 21, 2011 at 8:04 PM
I’m sorry firm spy but why has Warren Jiear escaped a hiding in this article?”
Warren Jiear escaped a hiding coz he’s a bloody legend with good taste in books.
Peace out homies, go do something productive.
The negative comments are clearly from those that didn’t make it at Hynes Lawyers. Good luck to you where you are now (seriously). As always, if you don’t want to work at Hynes, then resign and move on. It is a big world and there are plenty of jobs out there for whatever you are looking for. Get on the other side of the fence and see what it is like.
As a client of Hynes from 1996, back in the day when he drove a Datsun 200b and was just a small fish in a big pond, I can say I have witnessed the majority of the empire expansion. Do I care about a serviced office or a ‘suburban’ office – nup. Have I paid fees for the services of a dickhead or two in the past – probably. However from the tone of some of the posts the majority of the punters posting here need to grab their own cup of concrete, a practicing certificate and give running a firm a shot (warning you may end up running a very expensive kindergarten)
You should have a look at Rob’s more interesting side businesses – a bit racier than the law I guess. Interesting contrast to the wholesome family image the firm seems to want to promote!
Rob + maserati = dickhead!
Don’t worry Rob will have his midlife crisis in a couple of years and trade the Mazza for a Porsche …
He already has a Porsche, for the days when he doesn’t want to drive his Mazza.
A Mazza and a Porsche – a true dickhead!
Take it from somebody who knows, Rob has NEVER driven a Datsun 200B. When he started his Firm in June 1997, he drove a red Mazda MX 5. In 1996, he was still at Witheriff Nyst, as a Senior Associate, driving that same car. Personally, I don’t like the guy. However, in less than 15 years, after starting as a sole Practitioner, he has built a multi million dollar business, albeit, using both dickheads and non dickheads, along the way. The blogs here remind me of a quote about James Bond: The women love him and the men want to be him!
Ah the enviable lifestyle, complete with strip clubs …