UPDATE #2: Where Are They Now? TV Lawyer Hopefuls Get Back To Reality

[UPDATE 8:00pm Tuesday 23/8 - ED: following on from some of the comments, we decided to update this article and make it a feature. We did a bit more digging on a certain lawyer of Big Brother fame and have included her details below. Also, a small "correction" on Gavin McInnes. UPDATE #2 - 9:00pm Thursday 25/10: Apparently we missed another lawyer of Big Brother infamy. Details below].We were disappointed this year to see no lawyers in the Masterchef kitchen. That disappointment was compounded by the news that not a single lawyer featured in the cast of The Block, its Channel 10 rip-off The Renovators, The Amazing Race or any other locally produced reality TV program broadcast in 2011. After doing a quick recap of all the lawyers signing up for reality TV over the last few years, we quickly worked out why.

Gavin McInnes – Swarthy Wannabe “The Donald”

Gavin McInnes, no relation to ex-DJ’s CEO Mark McInnes who messaged Kristy Fraser-Kirk ”C u tonight in total black lingerie, totally waxed. Not a single word to anyone”, appeared on the first, and last, series of The Apprentice, Australia in 2009. The show aired 10 episodes, the final of which was broadcast on 23 November of that year. Whilst the format was familiar, the absence of The Donald (his role was filled by the virtually unknown founder of Wizard Home Loans, Mark Bouris) and the use of one of the Daddo Brothers as a narrator gave the show that B-Grade character that we see so often in local productions where budget constraints loom large. But Mr McInnes, bristling at the opportunity to be filmed shirtless:

• in the kitchen;
• ironing his shirt; or
• generally around the house

gave the show a zing of livery that probably explained how he made it to the show’s end. Eliminated in the season finale amid scenes of “who gives a sh*t about this show?”, Gavin McInnes appears to have gone back to his day job at Rostron Carlyle Lawyers in Brisbane, where he is listed as a Senior Associate.

UPDATE: according to an anonymous spy:

Gavin McInnes actually lost his job at HWL Ebsworth (where he was employed at the time of filming) after a falling out with his Partner Matty Reynolds (often mistaken as the husband from ‘Honey I Shrunk the Kids!). They are both short men, so it isn’t possible that either one was suffering from short man syndrome to cause the break-up.

Re: Gav McInnes – If the man spent less time walking around the office making protein shakes and more time actually understanding the provisions of the Corps Act, he would actually be quite successful..

Law Student Sam Hooper – The Apprentice’s Cadet

Sam Hooper appeared on The Apprentice, Australia as a 19 year-old Comm/Law student. His bio on the show stated:

I’m gen Y. I work to live, not the reverse. But that doesn’t mean I’m not in this to win.”This second-year law student’s dream job is to be a managing partner at a law firm. Samuel has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and is very particular about the neatness of the environment around him

Following his stint on The Apprentice, in which he placed sixth, Mr Hooper was offered a cadetship with one of Mark Bouris’ companies (apparently the cadetship was different to the apprenticeship awarded to the eventual winner of the failed program). The cadetship commenced in Feb 2010 and extended for 1 year, after which Mr Hooper landed a job as a Legal Administrative Assistant at Adelaide-based firm Tindall Gask Bentley Lawyers. Mr Hooper still holds the job with Tindall Gask Bentley while he completes his combined LLB/BComm degree. He is due to graduate at the end of 2013 (check out his LinkedIn profile here).

Marlon Dance-Hooi – Actor Geek Who Got Nationally Nude

Late last year we wrote a series of post on a contestant named Marlon, appearing on the frightfully coarse Channel 7 reality TV show Beauty & The Geek. The show pitted self-confessed “geeks” against a handful of females billed as “beauties” to create a program that appealed to consumers of the most base variety of TV entertainment. We thoroughly enjoyed it, particularly because the show featured law student Marlon and profiled his quest to lure the affections of the program’s mightily buxom female cast. Although he failed to win the program or the heart of any of the females on the show, he did concede that he was using his appearance as a means to pursue a career in acting, telling Firm Spy:

As for the acting aspirations, you’ve got it – that is what I ultimately want to do. I don’t think there is any ‘law’ about geeks and actors being mutually exclusive – you only have to look at the nerdy pastimes of actors such as Mike Myers, Vin Diesel, Judi Dench, Shia Laboeuf, and of course Seth Green et al to know that geeks are if anything an overrepresented demographic in Hollywood. I was also under the impression that to be professional as an actor you had to be paid for 3 productions – if so i’m 2/3 of the way there.

Mr Dance-Hooi, referring to himself as an “actor, singer, dancer, thinker”, is still pursuing his dream of making a career out of performance, posting an elaborate profile on “Talent” website Star Now. This year he has appeared in the following productions:

• Light up the Night (Leukemia Foundation) : Cancer Survivor, South Australia, Aus
• Henchmen for Hire : Martial-Arts Henchman, South Australia, Aus
• Wyrd Sisters : The Fool (Verence), South Australia, Aus

Best of luck to Marlon as he attempts to carve out a career in performance.

Peter Kritikides – Billing Units & Waxing Chests

When it emerged in Season 2 of Masterchef that contestant Peter Kritikides was a lawyer, we got out the magnifying glass and did a bit of snooping around. To our utter stupefecation, we stumbled onto a series of photos taken at his law firm Lander & Rogers which appear to show a group of lawyers standing around, celebrating, as “Krita” undergoes a very painful chest-waxing (picture to the right of screen).

We couldn’t make this stuff up. Seriously, we couldn’t!

To our continued amusement, the gallery of photos from the event is still available here.

After his stint on Masterchef, Krita went back to his former firm Lander & Rogers and was recently made up to senior associate. We understand that he is wheeled out every few months to entertain the firm’s seasonal clerks. Congratulations to Krita on making SA.

Adam Liaw – “Blissful, but somehow I feel like a homo”

Claire Winton-Burn – Office Romance With Lots of Spice

Finally, we get to Claire Winton-Burn – the 3rd placed finalist in Masterchef Series 2. Our article on CWB (available here) is one of our top-ten most viewed articles of all time. It profiles Ms Winton-Burn’s entanglement in an office romance with a fellow lawyer at her former workplace Clayton Utz. In his spare time, the fellow who won Ms Winton-Burn’s affections is a father to three young children, and the whole tryst with CWB was made much saucier by the allegation that Ms Winton-Burn had some responsibilty in his marital breakdown. We express no opinion on that.

We understand that upon leaving the show, CWB had a brief stint at The Age as a food journalist, before returning to her former employer Clayton Utz. She stayed at Clutz for a handful of months before leaving to work inhouse.

Jo Ashton – Lawyer-Turned-Ralph Centerfold

Apparently we missed a certain B-grade celebrity who once featured in Big Brother. One commenter asked – What about that blond chick from big brother with the bolt-ons? After a bit of research, we ascertained that a buxom blonde by the name of Jo Ashton once featured on Channel 10′s since-canned nightly reality TV offering Big Brother. Jo Ashton appeared on the 2003 season of the show and caused quite a stir. At the time of her eviction, The Age wrote:

Jo Ashton, a 24-year-old blonde bombshell who is both a solicitor and a Ralph magazine pin-up, didn’t think it would ever come to this.

When the Adelaide girl was evicted from Big Brother, she wasn’t merely evicted. She was positively expelled. Last Sunday night, 86 per cent of viewers voted her out — the biggest eviction vote in the Australian version of the show. It is also among the biggest Big Brother eviction votes in the world.

But apparently it wasn’t just the intellectually stimpulating show that evicted her: Ms Ashton’s former employer – Phillips Fox – was apparently decidedly unimpressed with her Big Brother appearance – one person purporting to be a former colleague of Ms Ashton wrote:

i used to work in the same law firm as jo ashton – from last season’s big brother. There was a big kerfuffle when she went on BB. we had team meetings over her because the managing partner didn’t want her name linked to the firm. He also got one of the secretaries to pack all of her belongings into boxes while she was on the show…

Gee… evicted from Phillips Fox going on Big Brother – who would have thought! Another person purporting to be a former colleague wrote:

Jo Ashton worked in insurance litigation and i was in commercial litigation. I can’t say that she was much of a lawyer though – she only worked part time… Juniors – like jo were usually left to do crummy jobs like writing letters, drafting claims and databasing.

Kicked out of Phillips Fox… perhaps she should have called Tony In The Sky With Diamonds Holland? At least things seem to have gotten a bit better for Ms Ashton – now married and going by the name Jo Hams, she appears to be working at Griffith University as an internship assistant.

Jamie O’Brien – Big Brother Intruder-Turned-HCA Upstart

Junior lawyers take note: there is nothing worse than an office newbie overstating just how much they L O V E going from 3-day weeks and 4-month summers, to 12-hour office days in the company of grumpy old men. If you’re after an example of the sort of stuff what we’re talking about, look no further than the comments of Herbert Geer Articled Clerk Jamie O’Brien about his involvement in a trip to the High Court in 2009:

I considered myself very fortunate … when a High Court matter landed in my lap while I was still finishing a rotation as an articled clerk at Melbourne firm Herbert Geer… I was getting to see something from start to finish, be present at the hearing and being given the chance to actually get involved in the matter – really involved.

Pfft… we hope Jamie has learned in the intervening two years that there is a bit more to work than photocopying and pushing trolleys. Alas, we should congratulate him on his efforts to forge a career at all, given how easily he could have been tainted with the “Turkey-Slapping” Brush. You see, Jamie O’Brien also appeared in the 2003 season of Big Brother, controversially entering the house as an intruder.*** According to website Fans of Big Brother:

Jamie O’Brien – Entered Day 37 – Evicted Day 64 - Jamie entered as an Intruder along with Kim after the houses became one… Jamie admitted to the HMs that he was gay, one night in the hottub.

Despite his relatively brief taste of fame, Jamie apparently enjoyed the limelight, according to one commentator:

Jamie O’Brien – co-hosted a one-off show with Jo Ashton and Johnny and has not been seen since.

Not seen … until now! Jamie is a lawyer in the Melbourne office of Herbert Geer.

Send the Firm Spy your news and views!

***NB: Jamie O’Brien had no involvement in the Turkey-Slapping Incident. Watch the Turkey Slap here (WARNING: contains nudity and … Turkey Slapping).

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