Thanks very much to the anonymous Mallesons spy who tipped us off to the bling gold currently accessible on YouTube here.
The video, entitled “Clerkship Paradise – The Infamous Mallesons Rap“, is a parody of the very serious anthem “Gangsta’s Paradise” by rapping royalty Coolio. The original song, as noted by Wikipedia:
begins with a line from Psalm 23:4 from the Bible: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but then diverges with: I take a look at my life / And realize there’s nothin’ left.
The Mallesons parody, meanwhile, begins with an introduction from a smartly dressed clerk who advises:
At Mallesons we pride ourselves on dress, punctuality and what we like to call “practice excellence”. At least, we did until the Global Financial Crisis…
From there, the rapping genius unfolds:
Nicky-Z ft M.C. Drizzle
Marginalised Mallies Males
2009/2010 MSJ RecordsMallesons Stephen Jaques hear our story.
The GFC hit hard and yet we’re still ok.
With Mallies pads, stationary and Tim Tam Thursday.
Leavin’ all the other law firms up in dismay.
With our Beagle and Scotty we’re armed for war
Due diligence and discovery we’ll be back for more and more
The only people in this firm who work 9-5
Nat, Sam and Cristin always keep our spirits high
With our precedents and policies there aint no stress
And yet we treat every task like its a test
Maybe a partner in each of us in due course
But is your time on Keystone? For that there’s no remorse, cozBeen spending most our lives
Lookin over FirmPrecs and Quick Guides (repeat x 4)Constant procrastination and time-wastin
I know this aint the normal life but i’ll take what i can get
Corporate mergers & acquisitions is quite a good team
With their flatscreen tv and pinball machine
Im an educated clerk with money on my mind
Got my keystone close at hand i be billin my timeUsing lawlex and austlii to avoid mistakes
Wanna find a precedent? we use casebase (Cool!)
The end of the clerkship is but one day away
Will we get a grad offer? only HR can say
So just one more word before we walk out that door
MSJ thanks a bunch we made the right choice for sureSo finally its time that we finish up our “work” at G-P-T
Coz we’ve been spending most our time bludging out in clerkship paradise
Wrote a memo once or twice bludging out in clerkship paradise
Livin up the corporate life bludging out in clerkship paradise
Takin lots of breaks and leave by 5 bludging out in clerkship paradise
So there you have it. No one working 9-5, but plenty of seasonal clerks bludging and somehow billing their time! At least they know at an early stage that “this aint the normal life”. But should these young clerks simply “take what [they] can get” or should they hope for something more?
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I’m a student vying for a clerkship and this is turning me off Mallies (I’ll still apply mind you). Care to run a survey to see how many clerks got offers out of the clerkship, Firmspy? That kind of info and this kind of video would be much appreciated by students methinks.
It would be interesting to see if these guys received offers. I also doubt the fact Mallesons claims its an annual tradition and a bit of fun………
The graduates (not summer clerks) prepare a “grad skit” for the Christmas party in Brisbane. This is usually a 15-20 minute video taking the piss out of partners and is usually extremely funny. Whilst it is vetted by the firm before being shown, usually most of the stuff goes through unedited. It is a Mallies Brisbane tradition and is well received by everyone. What is wrong with a firm allowing its employees to have a bit of fun? Mallesons isn’t Allens – better lawyers but take themselves a lot less seriously.
Nice one junior. Here i was thinking we were talking about rap pisstakes but you’ve not lost sight of the bigger picture – being why MSJ is better than AAR. I hope that works out for you.
I really don’t care either way except to say that, if you are as junior as your handle suggests, I really couldn’t give a toss about which firm you think has better lawyers – my experience has been that junior lawyers are terrible judges of what makes an effective lawyer anyway.
I’m more concerned, as a lawyer, that prospective summer clerks believe something like this would impact the ability of a clerk to get a grad offer.
How uptight do you think law firms are?
And yes, this is a tradition in the Sydney office too.
All mallesons clerks received an offer to go back, though not everyone took it…
Having seen this video, it looks like the clerkship is actually a lot of fun! Definitely like the look of Mallesons, it’s good to see that they seem to have a sense of humor!
Junior you’re obviously a know nothing grad with petty and ridiculous filial piety to your firm….”better lawyers but take themselves less seriously”! You’re a joke. Same shit different buildings.
Clerk, all clerks received offers…..? 1/3 of clerks received offers, the number taking up those original offers at Mallesons was less and seems to be decreasing each year
I don’t want to get involved in the whole ‘which firm is better argument’ but I am just amazed that any firm would be happy for this to be in the public domain. Whilst it is just fun and jokes (not that it was really all that funny anyway), I just shudder when I picture a client watching this.. what the hell sort of image does it present of the firm.. and the clerks that made/uploaded this video.. one word ‘courageous’.
I work at Mallies and I know these guys – they have received offers. “Surprised” asks what image it sends. Uhm, how about a firm that knows how to have fun. Doesnt mean we arent great lawyers…that’s what matters to clients.
If this is MSJ ‘fun’ then thank F*CK I didn’t apply to them. What an a**hole. I hope he is enslaved to MSJ for life so as to prevent this guy from making more hideous videos.