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Mallesons Mad Monday & The Question of Which Wooden Spoon is “Available”
Posted by The Spy | Posted in Firm Gossip, Mallesons Stephen Jaques | Posted on 01-09-2010
We are reliably informed that in sporting parlance, the first day of this working week is known in AFL circles as “Mad Monday”. It is a day fabled for the Bacchanalian indulgences of players from the less successful clubs of the AFL . Dress-ups, booze and general frivolity are but the norm. On this day two years ago, for example, a celebratory Brendon Fevola “paraded outside a city bar in a nightie with a sex toy protruding from his pants” (for footage of the event, click here).
But while Fev occupied himself with a giant dildo and Ben Cousins probably spent this day Travis Tucking into his first bag of “bye-bye-urine-tests”, we think it was a very different kind of Monday madness which gripped top-tier law firm Mallesons earlier this week. Not only did the firm have to digest the reference made in Friday’s News article (read by half of corporate Australia) that the firm is “run like a prison farm”, but it was also forced to endure the galling task of reading the BRW Top 500 Private Companies.
It was far from cause to celebrate.
The BRW revealed that in the last financial year, Mallesons revenue dropped by 10.5%; a drop-kick trajectory that would see the firm fold like Fitzroy within a handful of years. Not even Clayton Utz, a firm we recently characterised as being on the precipice of nuclear meltdown, could come within a 50m-arc of Mallesons. Clutz posted a revenue decline of 9.7%.
However, both Clutz and Mallesons stood in stark contrast to other top-tier firms:
- Blake Dawson revenue declined by 3.5%;
- Freehills revenue declined by 3%;
- Allens Arthur Robinson revenue (based on BRW estimates) appears to have grown by approx 2%; and
- Minter Ellison revenue grew by 2%
So powerful was this shirt-front that Mallesons has tumbled from its position as Australia’s largest firm by revenue, losing that premiership flag to Minter Ellison by $8.6m. And while Clutz’s fall is explicable by a number of umpire reports (in particular the loss of key partners to A&O), we cant think of any such excuse that is available for Mallesons.
If there are no excuses, what next?
When football fans perceive that their club is underperforming, invaribaly it results in the sacking of the coach. But what happens when a law firm isn’t performing?
Fortunately, Chief Executive Partner Robert MIlliner has already considered the prospect of life after Mallesons, making the following comments to BRW in July of this year:
Post-Mallesons Plan: “I won’t go back into practice - I’ll go and do something different… I wouldn’t mind another executive role - it’s a question of what’s available. I was thinking about doing a few boards and a few people have said to me, oh, you’re too young - young in the sense that I should do a full-time executive role first.”
In relation to the “question of what’s available”, do you think opportunities will open up for the coach that has taken his team from premiership glory to … wooden-spooner-in-waiting?



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